By Cora Moon, Clinical Intern
With Halloween approaching, you might notice a little more fear in the air. Or perhaps you haven't noticed a difference, because your body already tends to be on high alert. There's been more conversation lately about our nervous system and how to recognize when we're experiencing a fight-or-flight response. But what exactly is our nervous system, and how does it help us respond to the world around us?
How your nervous system responds to stress
The autonomic nervous system regulates many of our body's involuntary functions, including heart rate, breathing, and digestion. It has two main branches: the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems.
The sympathetic nervous system helps prepare our bodies to respond to stress, perceived threats, and situations that require action. This is often referred to as our fight-or-flight response. When this system becomes activated, you might notice your heart beating faster, your breathing becoming more rapid, your appetite decreasing, or your palms becoming sweaty. These are some of the physical sensations that can accompany stress or anxiety.
The parasympathetic nervous system supports functions associated with rest, digestion, and recovery. It helps the body conserve energy and return toward baseline after periods of stress. You might notice your breathing slowing, your heart rate settling, or your digestion returning to its usual rhythm.
Both branches work together to help your body respond to changing demands. The goal isn't to remain calm all the time, but to be able to respond to what's happening around you and recover when a stressful moment has passed.
When your body stays on high alert
Sometimes our bodies can remain on high alert even when we aren't facing an immediate threat. Stress, anxiety, and past experiences can contribute to feeling constantly on edge, anticipating danger, or having difficulty relaxing. Everyday situations may begin to feel more overwhelming, or spookier, than they otherwise would.
For many people, this looks like perfectionism: a constant pressure to get everything right, as if a mistake were a real threat. When your body treats every deadline, email, or small slip-up as danger, it's hard to ever fully settle.
3 simple ways to calm your nervous system
So how can we support our bodies when we notice these patterns? Here are three simple techniques you can experiment with to help manage stress and reconnect with the present moment.
1. Slow, comfortable breathing
Try breathing in gently through your nose and letting your exhale be a little longer than your inhale. Simply slowing your breathing may help reduce physiological arousal and support a sense of calm. One common technique is to inhale for 4 seconds, pause briefly at the top of your breath, and then exhale for 6–8 seconds.
2. Try a gentle temperature shift
If it feels soothing, try holding a cool washcloth against your cheeks or hands, or briefly rinsing your hands with cool water. Notice how the sensation feels without forcing yourself to tolerate discomfort. Cold exposure affects people differently, and intense cold or ice-water immersion is not necessary for grounding. If water isn't accessible, even briefly stepping outdoors to shift the temperature around you may help bring you back to the present moment.
3. Hum or sing a familiar tune
Try humming a favorite song or singing along to music you enjoy. Pairing a familiar sound with a comfortable, unhurried exhale can offer a gentle way to slow down, shift your attention, and reconnect with the present moment.
Noticing what your body needs
These techniques give us opportunities to notice what our bodies need and discover what helps us feel more grounded. The next time you notice your body anticipating something spooky, pause and ask yourself: What am I noticing in my body right now, and what might help me feel a little more present?
Support for anxiety, stress, and perfectionism in Chicago
If you feel like your body is stuck in fight-or-flight, you don't have to figure it out alone. The therapists at Cultivate Counseling Group help clients with anxiety, stress, and perfectionism learn to understand their nervous system and find what helps them feel calmer and more present. We offer in-person sessions at our North Center office and our new Avondale location, as well as telehealth.
Reach out to Cultivate Counseling Group to get matched with a therapist.
Written by Cora Moon, Cultivate’s intern. She works with teens, adolescents and adults. Reach out if you’d like to work with Cora! We think she’s awesome.
Cultivate Counseling Group is a therapy practice in Lincoln Square/North Center Chicago, soon in Avondale, and virtually all over Illinois and Wisconsin. If you’re looking to have your child or your self work with a therapist, contact us to ask questions, inquire about availability, or schedule an appointment. You can also reach out directly to hello@cultivatecounselinggroup.com.